He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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