There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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