so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
