Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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