My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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