I will die if light touches me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
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don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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