I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
