i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize