i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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