bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
