i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
so much tequila, so little girl.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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