I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
