I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
