how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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