Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
