if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
