I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
