i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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