he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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