I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
