She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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