Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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