I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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