Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
