dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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