Betty ford says i'm here all night
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
