ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
