is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
