saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
birth control should be required to get into college
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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