pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
