You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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