Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
