I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
