I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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