I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
