1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
