If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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