walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
