Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
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I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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