Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
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Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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