There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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