Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
