So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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