from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
