just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
