so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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