He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
two words...techno handjob
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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