Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't deserve a penis
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
