he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
