thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize