Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
