Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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