I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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