Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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