Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
