i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
