took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
