I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
